When Social Media Becomes TOXIC (And Warning Signs You Need a Break!)

In July, I started to feel the need to step away from Instagram. I LOVE connecting and seeing my friends living their life even when we may be far away or living different lives. I love seeing milestones and celebrations and the good. However, when all you see is the highlight reel of people’s lives it can start to make you feel worse about yourself. 

Without even realizing, many of us are comparing our life to someone else’s highlight reel. This sets us up to feel unworthy, not good enough and like “something is wrong with us.” When this is anything but the truth. 

You are worthy for anything because you are.

You are good enough.

You are perfectly imperfect. 

When we constantly seek validation and approval from others who we may not even know in person is toxic and unhealthy. 

And then there is the addiction. 

The addiction to social media is real. We are constantly reaching for our phones and checking the little red circle that tells us we have something that needs our attention. We get that rush of adrenaline when we see that notification and that something exciting may be on the end of that red dot.  Many of us don’t even realize it is an addiction. 

Personally, I started to notice that I was constantly short with my littles, impatient with them needing my attention, and annoyed when they needed me and I was “on social media.” I realized that I was making social media more important than my littles and that needed to stop ASAP.

So what are the warning signs you need a break?

1. Look at how many hours a week you spend on social media. Many phones now will track your time on apps. How long are you on social media apps? If it is more than an hour, ask yourself how you feel about that? Is the hour+ you are spending adding value to your life?

2. Monitor your emotions. This is a huge clue! How do you feel when you reach for your phone? Do you use it as a tool to numb out? This was my big warning sign I needed a break. When things get hard with the littles or I am feeling frustrated, I reach for my phone to drown out the crazy and numb out the emotion. How do you feel after you are done with a social app? Do you feel drained? Sad? Exhausted? The world right now is so polarized and it is EASY to get dragged into the negative noise. Being informed is important. Being inundated with negative, depressing, sad, draining news is not healthy. 

3. Notice the jealousy. Do you often feel jealous or envious of the posts and stories you watch? Do you compare and contrast your life to someone you barely know wishing you had their life? Being in this state of jealousy and comparison continues the cycle of unworthiness and not good enough. 

So what can you do?

• Limit your time- set limits for how much you can be on the app

• Set your intentions- what is your intention for using the app? 

• Take scheduled breaks- one weekend a month? A week? A month? 

• Create boundaries- what rituals and routines do you do that fill you up? Create a boundary that you do those FIRST before checking socials. 

Tired of trying to make a change with no success? Wishing you had a system to support and care for yourself while being a busy mom? Vibrant Mom Bootcamp is a four week program that allows you the space to dive deeper into yourself. This four week bootcamp encompasses all aspects of yourself with an emphasis on your mind, body, and soul. Vibrant Mom Bootcamp is self paced and you get immediate access to dive right in! Each week you get new content to dig into to allow a vibrant transformation to occur-- all for $27! 

The Rundown of Vibrant Mom Bootcamp:

Week 1: Mind- everything you experience in your life, you created with your mind- let’s learn how to harness that power! Together we will choose a mindfulness practice to do and see how it transforms our outer world! 

Week 2: Body- our bodies are our home and we need to nurture them. Together we will pick an area to love a little more with simple actions and systems to support us. 

Week 3: Soul- You are here to experience joy in all the ways you desire. Together we will uncover your joy and bring it to life. 

Week 4: M/B/S Alignment- this is where we put it all together and create a daily ritual and routine that fills you up to allow you to pour more vibrant energy into the ones you love most.

By the end of the four week program you will:

• Have powerful affirmations to use and practice

• Curate a simple yet powerful flexible routine that meets your needs and fills your cup up

• Understand the importance of your emotions and how to use them as a guide

• Appreciate and create a deeper respect for your body with specific care practices in place

• Feel more vibrant, energized, and alive

Live Call dates will be:

September 13th at 7:30pm

September 20th at 7:30pm

September 27th at 7:00pm

October 4th at 7:30pm

17 Habits of Happy, Vibrant Moms

disclaimer: this post has affiliate links. I earn a small commission if you decide to buy something off of this post. Thanks for supporting my small business.

If you are a mom, you know that raising littles is wonderful but also incredibly draining, exhausting and taxing. Many moms stop taking care of themselves and put their littles needs before their own. While this may seem like the best thing to do, it is actually the opposite...think about it for a second with me… 

You are tired and drained because you are doing all the things for your family. Meals, chauffeur, event organizer, dry cleaner, maid, emotional sounding board, and the list continues.  Because you are tired you are a little more snappy and short with your littles resulting in the mom guilt coming on strong because no one feels good after yelling and being short. Everyone feels bad and the cycle continues because we constantly put everyone's needs above our own. If you are reading this, I am guessing you want to be and embody a happy, vibrant mom and the good news is that you can! 

The process is easy-- you just have to flip the script so to speak! Putting your needs FIRST is essential...I will say it again… Putting your needs FIRST is ESSENTIAL. Happy, vibrant moms know that when they take care of themselves and put their needs first, that happy and vibrant energy spreads to their family and everyone wins. In this blog post I will be sharing 17 habits you can start today to become the most vibrant version of you!

1. Water-- Yes this might seem simple but hydration is important! Our bodies are made up of 60% water. When you are dehydrated you can experience headaches, constipation and lethargy. We need ALL the energy we can get being a mom so drinking enough water is one way to flood our bodies with goodness. 

   1. PRO Tip#1- Start your day with a glass of room temperature water with salt and lemon. Together this combo floods your body with minerals and nutrients to start your day on a hydrated note! 

   2. PRO Tip#2- Buy a reusable water bottle and figure out how many you would need to drink half your body weight in ounces of water. For example, I am 150 pounds so I want to drink at least 75 ounces a water a day. I have an obnoxiously big water bottle that holds 40 ounces so my goal each day is to drink two of them. (always consult a health professional before starting something new)

2. Movement-- This one is HUGE. Honestly between this and water, I believe are essential to creating happiness. To me, movement is any way I move my body that feels good to ME. It could be a walk, zumba, yoga, cycling, lifting, kick boxing, barre, HIIT, running, cross-training..it can be anything. Moving your body for 30 minutes gets your endorphins going and it releases stagnant or pent up energy from our bodies. When I am having a harder mom day, I will have my littles do a workout with me allowing all of us to get that energy OUT. 

   1. PRO Tip: If you are new to moving your body, start slow and experiment with different types of exercises that feel good to you. I never thought I would be a cycler but I love cycling. It took some time to figure out what I like to do! 

   2. PRO Tip: Schedule your workout time in advance. On Sunday’s I plan my workouts by looking at what we have coming up. I prefer to workout in the morning and do my best to do it then.

   3.  PRO Tip: Track your Cycle. I workout according to my menstrual cycle (I talk all about this in my Stepping into Spirituality Course) and ¾ weeks I alternate between cycling and lifting. During my period, I rest and do stretching. 

3. Gratitude list- Gratitude is everything when it comes to cultivating and sustaining happiness. I list 7-10 things I am grateful for every single day. We are all so blessed and so many times we don’t take the time to appreciate what we have right in front of us. Our health, wealth, home, food, family, flowers, books, technology and coffee just to name a few.

   1. PRO Tip: Use a Journal. There are so many gratitude and daily journals out there. The Yogic Path is one of my favorites to use since it allows me to track and check in with myself in the morning and evening. 

   2. PRO Tip: Add in affirmations. Affirmations are powerful sentences that re-wire your brain to think differently and in turn create a better reality. This journal was created to support moms and help them live intentionally.

   3. PRO Tip: Do a gratitude practice with your littles! Ideally, we do this every night but at this current season we are in it hasn’t happened that often. Find a time to share what you are grateful for as a family. I made this simple yet effective Affirmation and Gratitude Journal for Kids!

4. Alone time-- I didn’t know I needed this until I was a stay at home mom and was never alone. However, I think it is important for working, work from home and stay at home moms. Creating space to be alone and be ourselves is essential. Motherhood can swallow us up whole and our entire identity can be wrapped up in our littles. While this isn’t terrible, I guarantee you are not happy and vibrant when you don’t have time and space to just be you. Alone time can be when you move your body, taking a bath, getting a facial or going for coffee. It can be what you want but making sure you have time to yourself each week or day if you can will benefit your mental, emotional, and physical self.

   1. PRO Tip: If you have a partner or spouse, plan your alone time ahead of time. We like to do a Sunday meeting where we run through the week and look at each other's needs and schedules. This allows us to be super transparent of what we need and when we are going to do it. 

5. Friend time-- Mom friends are the best friends, am I right? There is nothing like getting together with moms who get it and your life. How often do you get together with your girlfriends? How often would you like to get together with your girlfriends? Answering these questions can help you determine how frequently seeing your friends would benefit you. Now, I want to add that I know it has been challenging to see friends during a pandemic. One of the ways I have overcome that is by creating Illuminated Sisterhood. Illuminated Sisterhood is an online community of moms where we meet twice a month on Zoom to chat all things motherhood and learning. It is a simple and convenient way to be with other moms just like you while the world around us is isolated.  

6. Meditate-- I love to meditate. Does it happen how you imagine in a quiet and calm space where I sit cross legged and feel completely zen? Nope. I am a mom of four littles. Meditating for me is a time where I quiet my mind, focus on breathing and listen to calming music. Many times I lay down for 5 minutes during our “quiet time” after lunch. Sometimes my daughter joins me and sometimes it doesn’t last more than a minute. Meditating can be a walk looking at nature and being present. Meditating can be driving and looking for the beautiful things around you. Meditating can be sitting on a comfy pillow and focusing on your breathing. Meditating is an opportunity to quiet the chaos and be in the present moment--however that looks and feels for you. 

   1. PRO Tip:- Calm or Insight timer are great meditation apps for your phone. I love Insight Timer and have a few favorites that I go to. You can find any length and a variety of different styles. 

7. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff- So, we all agree that mom life is nuts right?? Then why do we spend so much time getting worked up over crap that doesn’t matter?!? Running late for an appointment, missing the bus, spilled coffee are all annoying but they aren’t that big of a deal. Sometimes we let these small things turn into huge moments that then taint the rest of our day. When you have an annoying moment, take a breath and reassure yourself that it is ok. 

8. Self Care Routine-- Self care is all the rage but do we actually take time to do it? To care for ourselves in a loving and fulfilling way? Self care is different for everyone but finding activities that you love doing that feel nurturing for yourself will fill your cup up. For me, I get a monthly facial and then do a facial scrub once a week--usually on Sundays. See this post on Overwhelm to help further.Happy vibrant moms care for themselves!

9. Skin health-- I don’t know about you but when I look good, I feel good. Something I started taking seriously in my 30s was my skin health. I got serious about washing my face, using products that are meant for my skin type and learning all about caring for my skin. I am so passionate about it. I wrote this post about what every mom in her 30s should do for her skin! 

10. Screen Time Limits-- we have all been there...sitting on the couch scrolling our phones and we look up and 45 minutes have passed. Whoops! In my opinion, social media apps are great for connecting and inspiring us. However, they also are a way for us to “numb out” or zone out when things feel overwhelming or hard. There are a few ways to monitor your screen time but the easiest way I have found is to set limits on your phone. I have it set where I can only be on certain apps for an hour a day! Happy moms are out LIVING their life, not watching others live theirs!

    1. PRO Tip: Look at your screen times for your most used apps and figure out how much time you would ideally spend on that app. 

11. Get outside/grounding-- Being outside is SO good for our bodies. It helps boost our immune system, improves our mood, and gets fresh air into our lungs. On top of getting outside, being outside barefoot is a phenomenal way to reset your nervous system and connect to the earth.

    1. PRO Tip: Go outside with your morning coffee or tea and walk around your front or backyard barefoot, breathing in the fresh air and running through your gratuities in your head. 

12. Get dressed/dolled up-- Ok, I am going to admit it-- I am the laziest woman when it comes to dressing up/make up. However, there was a point early in my stay at home life that I was feeling very blah. I wore the same 5 things, I always felt like I looked like a truck had just run over me and I knew that if I started spending a few extra minutes getting ready in the morning I would feel better. And it worked. I wear minimal makeup but what I do wear makes me feel beautiful. I started wearing earrings and lipstick on days that I felt like it. I still never do my hair--it is just not my thing but figure out what makes you feel beautiful! It doesn’t have to be dressed to the nines but when I look good, I feel good and that energy transfers on to the rest of your day!

13. Say yes and mean no-- We are a “yes” culture. We over commit and over tax ourselves by saying yes when really our hearts aren’t in it. This takes practice but before committing to something, really ask yourself if this is a YES because if it is not an excited yes, then is a hard NO! Yes I realize sometimes we have to do things we don’t necessarily want to do but when we have those options to do something or not, we need to really use our discretion and say yes to what matters!

14. Eat Real Foods- I was hesitant to put this one in here but I think it is important so I am going there. In the US we are inundated with highly processed and jammed with sugar foods. I have been on a journey to heal my gut (more on that soon) and one of the things I had to do was cut out sugar and let me tell you, it was hard but it was worth it. My energy skyrocketed and I felt SO much better in my body. There are other things I did and I will share those too but the point is to look at your meals- do you have fresh fruit and veggies? Do you have a good source of protein? Our gut is our second brain and if we are putting processed, sugary foods into it, we are not going to get energy out of it, rather the opposite, tired and irritable! 

    1. PRO Tip: Try food journaling or work with a nutritionist or naturopath to see if altering the food you are eating is a way for you to feel better in your body! 

15. Read for pleasure-- Reading is a way to enhance your life. Whether it be to learn a new skill, read a captivating story or a celebrity gossip magazine. Allow yourself some time to read for enjoyment. I don’t know about you, but I want my littles to love reading and to do that I have to be an example for them to read for pleasure. Happy and vibrant moms are learning topics they are interested in and reading while enjoying themselves. Here are a few of my favorite books! 

16. Vitamins & Supplements-- If you haven’t gotten the gist of this post by now, SO much of being a happy momma is taking care of yourself! Always consult with a doctor before starting vitamins or supplements but a few of my favorites that I think are essential for feeling your best are below and linked to make it easier to find!

    1. Vitamin D

    2. Vitamin B12

    3. Multi Vitamin

    4. Hyaluronic Acid (skin health essential!)

Vitamin Link

There is A LOT of information in this blog post, take one or two things to implement and then once those are established come back to it and try another two! Wanting to start everything at once will create overwhelm and then guilt for not being able to do it all which will cause you to feel the opposite of happy-- which is the entire purpose of this post! If you want support creating new habits, consider enrolling in my Vibrant Mom Bootcamp! 

Tired of trying to make a change with no success? Wishing you had a system to support and care for yourself while being a busy mom? Vibrant Mom Bootcamp is a four week program that allows you the space to dive deeper into yourself. This four week bootcamp encompasses all aspects of yourself with an emphasis on your mind, body, and soul. Vibrant Mom Bootcamp is self paced and you get immediate access to dive right in! Each week you get new content to dig into to allow a vibrant transformation to occur-- all for $27! 

The Rundown of Vibrant Mom Bootcamp:

Week 1: Body- our bodies are our home and we need to nurture them. Together we will pick an area to love a little more. 

Week 2: Mind- everything you experience in your life, you created with your mind- let’s learn how to harness that power! Together we will choose a mindfulness practice to do and see how it transforms our outer world! 

Week 3: Soul- You are here to experience joy in all the ways you desire. Together we will uncover your joy and bring it to life. 

Week 4: M/B/S Alignment- this is where we put it all together and create a daily ritual and routine that fills you up to allow you to pour more vibrant energy into the ones you love most.

Wherever you are in your motherhood journey, I am here for you! Be sure to check out Illuminated Mom and grab yourFREE Video Training: Stop Yelling at your Littles 

The Most Powerful Practice to Raise Incredible Kids

Let’s be real, all of us want to come out of this motherhood journey in one piece and hopefully with kind and loving tiny adults by our sides. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual and a lot of the time we default to ideals, beliefs, and practices that were shown to us when we were being raised.  Through my years of parenting, I have done a lot of inner work on what I liked and valued about my childhood and what I hated and wish never happened. Since we can’t change the past, the best thing we can do is to change our future by doing things differently. 

That is why in this blog post I am going to share with you what I think is one of the most powerful practices we can teach our kids NOW so that they can become incredible adults. 

A few years ago, I was introduced to affirmations. If you aren’t aware of affirmations, they are powerful statements or phrases that help re-wire our subconscious mind and fill our minds with an alternate way of thinking. 

For example, I was raised in the midst of diet culture. My grandma and mom would constantly talk about starting a diet, being on a diet, quitting a diet, needing to lose weight and so on. Because of this constant conditioning and narrative that was said in front of me, I developed fears and phobias around food and weight gain. While I never developed an eating disorder, I thought about it plenty. I have worked HARD on my body mindset after having four babies in five years and it takes conscious effort and changing your thoughts to get there. Using affirmations can be a really powerful tool to get you from where you are to where you want to be. Affirmations I have used for this are “I love my body, I am grateful for my body and all it does for me. Food is fuel and I honor my body with good foods. I am grateful for my healthy, lean, and strong body.” 

So how does this work for kids?!? Let me tell you. Since I introduced affirmations to my kids a few years ago when my oldest was 4 and my second was 3, it has been a game changer as a parent. I used 10 simple phrases with my kids that The Holistic Psychologist had recommended and at breakfast we would say them together.  They started to use these simple phrases in their every day life and when playing with friends! I would catch them saying things to each other like “You choose your attitude Emmett!” or “You can do hard things Attley.” Recently my two year old has started saying “I believe in you!” when he sees others struggling with something. Melt. My, Heart.

Now, while I would like to say I have been consistent and for the last two years our affirmation practice has happened every day,  I assure you, it has not. However, this summer I noticed my daughter become obsessed with looking at herself in the mirror and making sure her hair and appearance was just so. After witnessing this a few times, I encouraged her to start saying her affirmations while she brushes her hair or fiddles with her appearance. She was coy about it but she slowly started whispering the affirmations to herself in the mirror. You guys-I know how powerful it is to speak these things to yourself in the mirror and I can barely do it! For her to start doing it at a young age before she learns and picks up crappy social norms is incredible!! She will already be SO far ahead when it comes to her mindset and attitude towards life. 

While I know this may seem silly or weird, can you imagine saying things to yourself in the mirror like “I believe in myself. I am unique. I can do things that are hard. I choose my attitude” and how your mindset and inner dialogue would shift and change day after day?!? Later in life, when someone makes a mean comment about an outfit, she can say, “Yes I am unique.” Or when she is struggling with a new skill, I will remind her “We can do things that are hard.” And when she is grumpy about something or whining about something that we have already discussed, she can remind herself that “I choose our attitude.”

How powerful for her to know that she has SO much more power than she knows. She gets to choose her vibration and energy and while that terminology is a little big for her 5 year old brain, I LOVE that she will have these tools in her pocket for the years to come. 

With life events, we have made the decision to homeschool this year and as I was thinking about what I want my two oldest to learn this year and what I want them to get out of the year. I got really excited about expanding our affirmation practice and teaching them a. powerful morning routine. So I developed a 13 week Affirmation and Gratitude Journal for kids! You guys I am obsessed with this and I have tried it out with my kids and they love it! 

The Affirmation and Gratitude Journal gives you 13 affirmations that they can say to themselves each day and then each week you focus on one affirmation where you practice writing it and drawing/writing your gratitudes. The journal also gives you extra ideas and activities to embody and practice the affirmation in real life. This is so powerful! 

The Affirmation and Gratitude journal can be done any time of day which makes it the perfect activity for breakfast, after dinner or before bed. I know you might be wary of starting a practice that involves writing or adding more “work” to your child’s plate but hear me out- this is powerful work. This isn’t busy work or random homework that they will memorize and forget. This is re-wiring and programming their little minds to think differently. To go for the positive, uplifting thought rather than the negative. With daily practice and encouragement, your child can speak to themselves and others in a powerful and encouraging way! If you are still wary but want a place to start an affirmation practice, I designed these simple affirmation sheets that you can download, print and hang up around your house! Even if your kids just hear you say them they are still hearing and internalizing these uplifting and powerful phrases!

If you have been in my world for a while, you know that one of my missions in life is to support moms so that we can raise conscious kids who change the world.  I truly believe this journal is the start of that and together we can uplift the future generation to shine brighter than we ever imagined. 

Clever Tips for Exhausted Moms

As a mom of four littles under six (yes I had four kids in five years!) I know how exhausting raising littles can be! The sleepless nights, the midnight feedings, the middle of the night accidents and wake ups, they all take a toll on us- mentally, emotionally and physically. In this blog post I am breaking down actions you can take to get some rest and feel replenished. 

Tips when you are Exhausted (in general)

When I am exhausted, I use what I can to help me throughout the day! Take these tips and tricks and use them if they feel aligned or pick and choose which ones you like! We are all doing our best raising our littles and these have helped me when the sleepless nights have me feeling like a total mom-zombie. 

• Tell your littles

  • The first thing I will do is tell them I am tired. That way they know from the get go that I am not at 100% mom mode and maybe (not always) give me a small break and get along :)

• Ask for what you need

  • I am a big believer in asking for what I need with my littles. I will say “I need some space for a minute, can you go play?” or I will tell them “I need a break, I am going to sit in X room for a few minutes.” Not only is this giving you what you need but you are also modeling for your littles how to show what you need and ask for it. This is SO powerful for everyone involved. 

• Use what you have!

  • I am not above TV time when I am tired. It is basically how I survived the days of four littles and a pandemic. I know that screen time can be a controversial topic but if I am tired, I have no issue putting them in front of a movie and resting in another room so I can feel replenished for a bit. Whether you prefer TV, tablets or video games--use what you have to work for you. If you have a little who doesn’t have the attention span for a movie, attempt to rest when they rest or nap. I know that can get tricky but the point is to get you some rest while still being on mom-duty. 

• Ask for help

  • I am blessed and my family is close. If there is a day where I need a nap/break, I will ask for help. Whether that be my in laws taking them or my husband stepping in during his lunch so I an lay down for 30 minutes. Also, consider a swap with other mom friends and see if they can watch your kids for an afternoon and then another time you can watch hers. There is nothing like a supportive mom friend to get you through the harder days. 

• Avoid the Blue Light

  • When you are tired, it is easier to numb out on our phones. Consider not using your phone when you are exhausted so that the blue light doesn’t mess with your circadian rhythm. The last thing you want is to lay your head down on your pillow at night and not be able to sleep because you were exposed to too much blue light before bed!

Tips When You Are Mentally Exhausted

When you are mentally exhausted by motherhood, try incorporating meditation! Meditating for me is a time where I quiet my mind, focus on breathing and listen to calming music. Many times I lay down for 5 minutes during our “quiet time” after lunch. Sometimes my daughter joins me and sometimes it doesn’t last more than a minute. Meditating can be a walk looking at nature and being present. Meditating can be driving and looking for the beautiful things around you. Meditating can be sitting on a comfy pillow and focusing on your breathing. Meditating is an opportunity to quiet the chaos and be in the present moment--however that looks and feels for you.

Tips for When You Are Emotionally Exhausted

When you are emotionally exhausted, let the emotion out! When most of us were raised, we were told “you are fine! Stop crying! Big kids don’t cry.” When really, letting the emotion out is SO important. When you feel emotionally exhausted, let the emotion out! Scream into your pillow, hit your bed or cry in the shower. This is called somatic releasing and is a healthy way for you to get that emotional energy out of your body. There is NO shame in crying or screaming- it allows all that emotion to pass through your body rather than get stuck and create dis-ease within your body. 

Tips For When You Are Physically Exhausted

When your body is physically tapped out, you need to listen to it. Ask for help, hire a babysitter for an afternoon or ask a friend to step in. It is ok to rest--it is needed and so often we dismiss our needs for the sake of others. If you read my blog post about 16 habits of Happy, Vibrant Moms, you know how I feel about this! If you can’t get someone to help so you can rest, once your littles are asleep, you go to sleep too! Skip dishes, laundry, and all the other tasks we have for a day so you can catch up and feel refreshed! 

That is why I put together a short mini-course that helps you learn about yourself AND your little! When we understand each other, parenting goes smoother and becomes fun rather than a chore! Take the guess work out of parenting to make your life easier.

Aligned Parent Mini-Course is an easy and quick way to set yourself up for parenting success and change the way you act and communicate with your littles! What if you understood your child’s the fundamental reasons for why your kid is the way he/she is? There is a module on Temperament! Or do you know what your parenting style is and the different types? There is a module explaining and breaking it down for you! This mini-course will give you valuable and insightful knowledge that will change your parenting forever.

For $22 you get six mini-lessons that cover areas in development, parenting styles, discipline, challenging behaviors, temperament, and characteristics of strong families. With included workbooks you will be able to answer questions, take notes, and retain the information provided.

ALIGNED PARENTS MINI-COURSE

I believe parenting should be a fun and happy experience and sometimes that means digging deeper into ourselves and learning more! Helping burnt out moms is my passion because once upon a time, I was just like you! And if you want to take your burnout even farther, check out my FREE video training on Stop Yelling at Your Littles. 

3 Sanity Saving Secrets for the Mom Meltdown

We ALL have those days where our littles are driving us up the wall and we are about to lose our sh!t! The whining, the fighting, the nagging, the mooooooom 1,000x within an hour, the demands for another snack while their lunch is sitting uneaten on the plate...and you feel it all. The frustration, annoyance, anger and exhaustion are all just bubbling up to the surface and you aren’t sure you can keep it together for much longer. Well, I am here to tell you that you don’t have to!

You have entered Mom Meltdown territory and I am going to share my secrets to avoiding it! In this blog post I am going to share my 3 secrets to avoiding the mom meltdown and how to use them in everyday mom life. 

Secret #1

Name your emotion. When you feel like you are about to lose your sh!t as a mom, start to name your emotion. What are you feeling? What emotion is it? What caused that emotion to rise up the surface? Where do you feel this emotion in your body right now? These questions all create awareness. Awareness is crucial because it allows you to be present and acknowledge yourself in that moment. Just like I talked about in this blog post about tantrums-- you want to acknowledge their feelings-- you also need to acknowledge yours!

Secret #2

Embrace and express your emotion. You heard me right, embrace your emotion. You feel angry-- let yourself really feel that anger. Where is it in your body? How does it feel in your body? How does your body want to release that anger? When we feel an emotion, it is our job to process it and allow it to pass through. When we feel a negative emotion such as anger or frustration, we need to process it in a safe and effective way. A way to do this is through somatic expression- expressing your emotions by letting them come to the surface and feeling them. Screaming into a pillow, hitting a couch cushion, jumping up and down and shaking your body, and crying are all ways to get that emotion out. Now before you think I am crazy for suggesting these things, think about this! When our littles are throwing an epic tantrum and they are kicking and screaming on the floor and then all the sudden they get up and go back to playing like nothing happened, they are literally doing this! They don’t know and live by “social norms” and haven’t been condition yet to “bottle up their emotions” They are SO smart that they know they have these feelings inside their body that they need to get out and they do it-- even if we don’t love the tantrum, I can respect the need to get those feelings expressed. It is the same for us, we need to express it. It can feel weird and you can think it is silly but I promise you it works and it is life changing when you allow yourself to feel and express your emotions in a safe way. 

Secret #3

Use your body. We just talked about how powerful expressing our emotions with our body is. Our lungs and their function within our body is SO important. Breathing is the quickest and easiest way to calm ourselves when we feel a rush of emotion. Most of us are all breathing short and shallow-- rarely filling up our lungs and actually taking a deep breath. When you feel that anger, frustration, annoyance come on, name it and use your body. Start taking deep breaths. My favorite breathing technique when I am frustrated is to box breathe. Box breathing is taking a breath in for 10, hold for 10, release for 10 and hold for 10. Essentially creating a box. Not only is this calming your sympathetic nervous system but it is also an amazing model to show your littles. They see that when you feel frustrated, you breathe and they learn to do it too. I promise this one secret can change your life. 

When you feel the Mom Meltdown start, come back to these steps and start caring for yourself right away! If you’re like me and want to go deeper, I have the thing just for you! 

That is why I put together a short mini-course that helps you learn about yourself AND your little! When we understand each other, parenting goes smoother and becomes fun rather than a chore!

Aligned Parent Mini-Course is an easy and quick way to set yourself up for parenting success and change the way you act and communicate with your littles! What if you understood your child’s the fundamental reasons for why your kid is the way he/she is? There is a module on Temperament! Or do you know what your parenting style is and the different types? There is a module explaining and breaking it down for you! This mini-course will give you valuable and insightful knowledge that will change your parenting forever.

For $22 you get six mini-lessons that cover areas in development, parenting styles, discipline, challenging behaviors, temperament, and characteristics of strong families. With included workbooks you will be able to answer questions, take notes, and retain the information provided.

ALIGNED PARENTS MINI-COURSE

I believe parenting should be a fun and happy experience and sometimes that means digging deeper into ourselves and learning more! Helping burnt out moms is my passion because once upon a time, I was just like you! And if you want to take your burnout even farther, check out my FREE video training on Stop Yelling at Your Littles. 

RELATED POSTS

How to Avoid Mom Burnout (forever)

7 Steps to Avoid Overwhelm in Motherhood

7 Steps to Avoid Overwhelm in Motherhood

We have all been there...You are standing in the middle of your kitchen where it looks like a food explosion happened, while your littles are running around screaming and you are still wearing yesterday's clothes. 

Hi, welcome to motherhood-- a crazy, beautiful, overwhelming experience! 

Having four littles in five years, overwhelm was my operating state until I implemented these steps to banish the feeling of overwhelm and step into a more relaxed and calm state. Knowing you always have a choice in your emotions and reactions is KEY when feelings of overwhelm creep up. 

In this blog post I will be covering:

• Understanding the root cause of overwhelm

• The First Step to do when overwhelmed

• How to give grace

• Use your body

• Use tools

• The 3 Ds

• Implement your Team

After my third little was born, I was overwhelmed. Between having a newborn, meeting the needs of my toddler and preschooler and trying to keep my head above the demands of motherhood, it became clear things needed to change.

I am going to be completely honest-- I still sometimes get overwhelmed in day to day life but I have used these tools, techniques, and strategies to turn that overwhelm into feelings of powerful calmness and I am going to teach you too!

The first step is to understand your root cause of overwhelm

When I think of times I was feeling “overwhelmed” I was really feeling scared of not knowing if I could do all the things I was being asked to do. Can I manage a house, laundry, cook dinner and keep three children alive at the same time? Looking at your overwhelm from a place of “what is this moment showing me” can give you valuable insights into what the root cause is. Knowing the root cause will allow you to acknowledge your [fear] on a deeper level. Getting specific on what exactly you are overwhelmed or scared of allows you to tackle the fear head on. 

If your root cause is fear of something (which it most likely is) identifying the fear like “I am scared I can’t do it all” will allow you to express it and then it loses it’s power over you. Can you do it all? No. No one can. So your fear is expressed and then validated that it is just that-- a fear based thought that doesn’t hold power over  you. 

The Next Step is to Observe the Overwhelm

When you’re knee deep in mom mode and you feel overwhelmed, you can observe it. You can look at it from a place of witnessing the overwhelm. Your thoughts might play out like this: 

‘Ooo  I am feeling overwhelmed. Ok I know that overwhelmed is coming from me feeling scared or fearful of something, what am I feeling scared of right now? Ohh I am feeling scared that we will be late for preschool because there is so much that needs to happen between now and when we have to leave in 30 minutes. Ok if we are late, what are the consequences? Nothing. Ok so my overwhelm is not a “big deal” Here are all the things I need to get done and the priority of them getting done.” 

That inner dialogue might seem silly but I cannot be the only one that talks myself through situations when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Witnessing it and walking yourself through the different scenarios allows you to play out the outcomes and validate the emotion but also see it in a new perspective.

When Overwhelm Hits, Give Yourself Grace

When you are in an overwhelmed state, you are likely running on adrenaline and maybe you’re snappier with your family or shorter with your responses. Maybe you raise your voice and yell in an effort to get your overwhelmed feelings across. When this happens give yourself grace. Know that you are doing the best you can in your current situation and move into using your body. 

Use your Body

Our bodies are SO powerful. When we are in an overwhelmed state, you are likely in fight or flight mode meaning your sympathetic nervous system is running the show. When you are in this state your muscles tense up, your pupils dilate, and your heartbeat increases-- getting you ready to fight. This state is hard on our bodies and we aren’t able to process everything around us because we are literally poised to “run.” To get out of this, we need to activate our parasympathetic nervous system. To do this, you want to take long, slow, deep breaths. I love box breathing- breathing in for 8, hold for 8, breathe out for 8 and hold for 8. Doing this for a few minutes I immediately feel my body relax and my muscles loosen up. From this space, you can start to process all that is overwhelming you and move into using your tools. 

Use your Tools

I was once told by a friend that a man's brain is like a runway and they think linear and one thing at a time and that a woman's brain is like a bowl of spaghetti because we have a thousand thoughts going in a thousand directions but we still end up having a delicious meal because we are just that talented with our noodle brain. However, even noodles need some help. My biggest tool when overwhelm strikes is to start making a list. Lists on lists on lists. List all of the things that need to get done and when they need to get done by. This allows you to start to organize some of the “spaghetti” brain and turn it into something more manageable. 

Move into the 3 Ds

After you have your list, move into the 3 Ds phase. This is a helpful process to figure out what needs to be done, delegated, and deleted. Go through your list and identify what has to be done by you, what can be delegated to someone else (more on this in a min) and then deleted/outsourced. Are there things on your list that someone else could do for you? Can something wait until later? Only you can decide what will work for you but use the 3 Ds on your list and take some load off your plate!

Implement your Team

One of the quickest ways to get rid of overwhelm is to implement your team and by team I mean family or support system. In our house, I literally tell my littles that I can’t do it all. I need their help. They have responsibilities and jobs that they do daily and we have systems in place to keep things running smooth-ish for our family of six. 

Jobs/Responsibilities my kids have (Ages 6,5,3,2 as of 12/21)

• Putting their clean clothes away

• Putting their shoes away when they come inside

• Bringing dishes to the sink after meals

• Cleaning up toys off the floor so I can run our robot vacuum

• Sorting laundry

• Wiping down surfaces after meals

• Putting silverware away

• Cleaning bathrooms

• Grabbing their waters when it is time to leave the house

Systems

• Places for toys to go (labels help but my kids won’t keep them on)

• Places for dirty clothes

• Places for shoes/jackets

• No Tech time until chores done

What responsibilities can you give your littles? Honestly, ANY age after 1 can help out-- Audynn, my youngest, learned how to bring me a diaper and wipes when she pooped at 18 months! It just might take some creative thinking on our part! 

Now I know this blog post was packed with information so digest it slowly and come back to it as needed. You do NOT need to feel overwhelmed by motherhood even if some moments are overwhelming. Using the steps, tools, tips and tricks in this post will help you navigate the ups and downs in a more calm and relaxed manner! And if  you need more support in your motherhood journey, grab the Aligned Parents Mini-Course or book a discovery call for Illuminated Coaching

What if you understood your child’s the fundamental reasons for why your kid is the way he/she is? There is a module on Temperament which breaks down in simple language why our kids think and act the way that they do! Or do you know what your parenting style is and the different types? There is a module explaining and breaking it down for you! This mini-course will give you valuable and insightful knowledge that will change your parenting forever.

For $22 you get six mini-lessons that cover areas in development, parenting styles, discipline, challenging behaviors, temperament, and characteristics of strong families. With included workbooks you will be able to answer questions, take notes, and retain the information provided.

ALIGNED PARENTS MINI-COURSE

I believe parenting should be a fun and happy experience and sometimes that means digging deeper into ourselves and learning more! Helping burnt out and overwhelmed moms is my passion because once upon a time, I was just like you! And if you want to take your burnout even farther, check out my FREE video training on Stop Yelling at Your Littles.

How to AVOID Mom Burnout (forever)

Let’s be real, motherhood is amazing but it is also HARD. The mental, emotional, and physical demands of motherhood is NO JOKE! It doesn’t matter if you work, stay home full time or are somewhere in between, we all experience those moments where we ask ourselves “Can I really do this mom thing?”

First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone in the challenge and struggle that is motherhood. As a mom of four who works at home while staying home-- I get the crazy--  I pretty much live it! But, I have been able to avoid the burnout by implementing these tips I am about to share with you! d

I’ll be covering 5 simple tools to implement right now to end burnout.

As a mom who had four littles in five years, I know a little something about the chaos of motherhood. One second you are finally sitting down for a quiet moment and the next you are running around the house frantically trying to figure out where your child might have pooped in the house as they wander into the family room without a diaper on. Seriously, mom life is such a trip. 

Once I started staying home full time after my second was born, it became real clear that I was going to get burnt out real fast if I didn’t figure out how to take care of myself and my needs while also raising my littles. Which brings me to….

Secret #1: start a gratitude practice

Seriously it is easy to get wrapped up in poopy diapers, dirty floors, and feeding schedules we forget to notice the amazing life we are living. Listing 3-10 things a day can change your life and your perspective real quick.

Secret #2: read or say affirmations daily

What we tell ourself and the thoughts we think over and over again shape our reality. If we are constantly telling ourselves things like “we can’t afford that!” or “I am a horrible mom” our subconscious brain will actively look for instances to prove these thoughts. (this can get really deep and complicated but just trust me on this— what you say matters!)

Secret #3: complete a daily top one/three

Fun fact, it has been said that women tend to have “spaghetti” type brain where we think about all sorts of stuff at once, managing lists, to dos, need to get done, appointments, meals, schedules, and so forth..basically all the things. Men on the other hand have a road type brain where they think about one thing. Crazy right? Having a top one/two/three list that you would like to get done or accomplished that day will help keep you focused and more likely to actually get the thing done you said you wanted to get done in the first place!

Secret #4: movement & meditation

These two are my sanity savers. Moving my body every day is how I stay sane as a mom. When I am woken up multiple times a night and morning comes I feel edgy and annoyed. Working out allows me to burn off that anger and annoyance and show up a better mom for my kids. Meditation is a place to allow stillness. We are always moving and going. When we are still we are able to reset our entire nervous system and mental and emotional field. Real life: meditation for me is laying down and my kids running around me or sitting on top of me. Sometimes I get it in alone but sometimes I don’t. Either way I am creating a space for myself to rest and let stillness in.

Secret #5: end of day practice

How you end your day, sets you up for the next day. Asking yourself “How did the day go? What went well? What did I learn? Where can I show up differently tomorrow?” are just a few great questions to ask yourself as you are ending the night. We are constantly learning, evolving and growing…taking time to actually process and acknowledge it is incredibly beneficial.

If after reading this blog post and you don’t know where to start, I got you. After years and years of a journal practice, I finally complied my favorite aspects of each and put it together in one simple and easy to use format that is designed for moms.

If you are looking to:

• feel more joy in motherhood

• be more present

• release the mom guilt

• expand your patience

• decrease stress

then this gratitude and affirmation journal is for you.

The Illuminated Mom 10 Minute journal is simple.

1. Pick the journal(s) that speak to you

2. Download the Journal to your computer

3. Print the Journal at home or professional

4. Start and end your day with the Journal

By completing these three simple steps, you will slowly watch beauty unfold in your every day life. With 10 minutes and about .11 cents a day you have the power to completely change your life. You were meant to live an amazing, joyful, and fulfilled life and it starts with one simple step and one small daily action.

What Others are Saying About Illuminated Mom Affirmation & Gratitude Journal:

“Through this guided journaling, I was able to focus on my mind and body. I am able to stay in tune with what my body is feeling with different stressors and focus on my gratitude. While writing down my affirmation daily, I’ve been able to embody it much easer and realize I am a good mom!”

“I instantly fell in love with this guided journal. It keeps me grounded while prepping for and navigating my busy week. It creates a space for me to be intentional at the beginning of each day and reflect back at the end of the day. The additional sections for affirmations, gratitude and positivity make this journal really special and unique.”

“5 stars. Helped me be intentional about my week and day. So good to start my day with an affirmation and come back at the end of the day to think about my top 3 of the day!”

“I found it especially helpful as a newbie to affirmations & journaling. The setup is great for a quick, mindful practice and it gives just enough prompting that I'm not sitting there wondering what to write.”

Related Posts:

How To Stop a Temper Tantrum FAST

7 Ways to Deepen Your Spirituality

Spirituality is a huge buzz word right now but for a real reason…more and more people are having a “spiritual awakening” and becoming more and more conscious. 

Now if I have totally lost you, let me back up and explain a little more. Being conscious is a term used to describe how “aware” you are of what goes on inside your head. It is no secret that majority of our thinking is done “subconsciously” meaning the thoughts we think are on auto pilot just like the morning routines, driving routes, food habits and bedtime routines are. We just do them. Some thoughts we just think. The act of becoming conscious means becoming aware of the incessant chatter inside our heads, registering it, and then changing it if it is not something that is serving us. Make sense? If not, see this post about 3 Ways to get Spiritually conscious.

Your Spirituality is your Superpower

Use these tips to harness yours.

In this blog post, I am going to share 7 simple steps you can take to dive into your spirituality and what you could gain from doing it. This post contains affiliate links, if you click the link and choose to purchase, I make a small commission for referring you— thank you for supporting my small business! So let’s get started!

1. Meditation— I know, I know, you have likely been told before to meditate but I would like to explain why this helps you dive into your spiritual side. Like I said before, we have constant chatter inside our heads and a lot of the time the chatter is negative and mean. This mean chatter pulls us away from our intuition, our inner knowing and drowns it completely out. Without access to our intuition, we cannot unlock all of the gifts and beauty inside of us. When we step into meditation, it allows us to calm the chatter, quiet the mind and allow for us to truly connect with ourselves and a higher power (whatever that means to you). I am going to even go a little further and say that mediation does not need to be done sitting crosslegged on a pillow in stillness. You can mediate on a walk and list things you are grateful for. You can meditate while sitting outside and focus on the sounds you hear. You can mediate laying down listing to claiming music (this is how I prefer to meditate). Sometimes I fall asleep and sometimes I have the best downloads— like what to offer next for Illuminated Mom or an inspired blog post to write for all of you. When I allow myself to stop all the millions of mom tasks I do each day, I allow space for more.

2. Connect with a Higher Power— This one can be sticky for some people. To me, religion and spirituality are different. Religion abides by certain rules and beliefs while spirituality is entirely personal and individualized. Either way, a higher power is at it’s core. Whether you name it God, Universe, Source, Angels, The Divine, Ascended Masters, Lightworker— it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you believe in something greater than yourself. This can take some inner work to dive into what speaks to you. Coming from a strict catholic background, I had to dig into what I believe to be true and what feels aligned with myself. That means that I let the religious parts of my belief system fall away and picked up some universal beliefs instead. I dive deeper into this in Week 1 of Stepping into Your Soulful Spirituality.

3. Oracle Decks— these are an amazing way to start getting guidance from your higher power and leaning into those intuitive hits. Oracle decks are typically decks that have short sayings or phrases on them. Usually they come with instructions on how to set the atmosphere, what to do to prepare and how to pull the cards. These have been instrumental in my spiritual journey during challenging times, times of indecision or times when I am questioning my worth. Every single time the card I pull is exactly what I need in that moment and it strengthens my connection to the Universe but also with myself. My two favorite decks are Work Your Light by Rebecca Campbell and The Moon Deck.

4. Chakras— If you are new to Chakras I have a course that covers them here that is a STEAL but the gist of Chakras are that you have seven (there are more but the most common is seven) energy centers within your body. All of these energy centers are linked to certain aspects of yourself. For example, you root chakra is all about survival, basic needs being met, and feeling supported. I have worked a lot with my root chakra because it is tied to feelings of lack and “not enough.” Two core wounds that I am in the process of healing. There are many chakra resources out there. Two of my favorites are Chakra For Beginners by David Pond and Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith

5. Journaling— one of the easiest ways to connect with yourself and your higher power is to journal. I currently have three journals that I work in each morning. One is The Yogic Path, I love it because it allows me to check in each morning and set an intention for the day. The second one is my graffiration journal. (Graffirmation is a word I made up to describe an affirmation and gratitude put together) My graffirmations are writing out things I am grateful that haven’t necessarily happened yet. Cultivating feelings of gratitude is one of the quickest ways to manifest and co-create things you want to call into your life. I have a list of about 10 things that I am thankful for each day that I am manifesting into my life as I type this. The third journal is where I can free write anything that comes to me or intuitive hits. I also keep a wealth log in this journal where I keep track of all of the wealth I experience that day. Super powerful exercise that I won’t get into here but here is a hint wealth isn’t just money :)

6. Breathwork— I am going to be totally honest. This one I do not have a lot of experience with. However, the small amounts that I have done breath work it has been totally transformative. We store SO much emotion and energy in our bodies and it can get trapped and stuck. Breathwork is a way for you to release all of that emotion and energy that isn’t serving you. You can youtube or google for practices— this is something on my list that I want to dive more into in the next few months.

7. Cultivate Awareness— Ok, I saved the hardest one for last—sorry friends. Without getting too wordy and off topic, our entire lives is created by our thoughts. Look around you— everything you have right now is something you once dreamed of. I personally am living a life I played for in the game LIFE. I ALWAYS wanted a car full of kids (we have four), I wanted the victorian (we built a beautiful modern farm house) and I always wanted to be wealthy— currently manifesting that. Wild right?!? In order to start manifesting or co-creating your dreams you have to become aware of your thoughts! We have 100,000s of thoughts a day and I can guarantee a lot of them are NOT serving you and are actually keeping you from creating your hearts desire— and I am here to tell you that you deserve to have it all. So how do you cultivate awareness? It is easy and complicated at the same time.

• Question every thought you think- ask yourself questions when you think something. Is this true? Is this serving me? Is there a better thought I could be thinking?

• Examine each emotion- When you feel anger throughout the day, what caused it? When you feel joy, what brought it? When you feel frustrated, what triggered it? These emotions are your guide to uncovering aspects of yourself that you have likely kept hidden and deserve to be uncovered, understood, and healed. (This is what we do in Mothering with Soul)

The beautiful thing about spirituality is that it is 100% YOUR journey! You get to use what feels good and aligned to you and leave the rest. There are no rules or structure but rather an inner guidance system that you follow to uncover the most authentic and beautiful parts of you. If this blog post spiked your interest and you are hungry for more, I would recommend looking into Stepping into Your Spirituality— an 8 week course with 8 bonus videos covering all the spiritual practices I wished I knew as I started my journey.  From healing your relationship with God, to understanding the moon cycles, to working with crystals— it is in there. 

Wherever you find yourself, know that you are always being guided and supported on your journey— there is no right or wrong path, just yours. 

RELATED POSTS:

3 Ways to get Spiritually conscious

How to STOP Temper Tantrums FAST

Temper tantrums can be so hard, and the worst part is when they happen in public or when you’re in a rush to get somewhere!

I’m right with you! With four littles under six, temper tantrums are a common occurrence in my household! However, I have learned tips and tricks to prevent them, stop them, and shorten them and reconnect with my little after— I want to share this knowledge with you! 

In this blog post, I’m sharing my top 5 tips to ending temper tantrums- and fast! I will be covering:

• What is a temper tantrum and the reason behind them

• Tricks to prevent temper tantrums

• Tips to stop them

• Steps to reconnect with your child after

So if you are struggling with temper tantrums, feeling frustrated with your little and struggling to connect this post is for you! 

What is a temper tantrum?

A temper tantrum in mom terms is when your little has an epic meltdown because you peel their banana the wrong way…am I right?!? I can’t tell you how many times I have had giant meltdowns in my house because I used the wrong bowl, cut a piece of food wrong or opened a snack they asked for but should have left it closed??!? 

In all seriousness, a temper tantrum is a way for our children to communicate with us…and usually we are not meeting the need or demand they want. Whether your little is two and just learning to talk or five and able to tell you all the things— they happen.

In our adultness, it is easy to dismiss our littles needs as “insignificant” or “not a big deal” but to them that food we cut wrong or plate we just washed is their whole world— seems silly right? But it is true! 

Whenever our little is in a temper tantrum, it is essential to ask ourselves “What are they trying to tell me?”

This is the key to understanding your child and seeing temper tantrums for what they are— a crappy way to communicate feelings and emotions. 

Tricks to prevent temper tantrums:

1. Sleep You might be saying “Meggie you are crazy!” But honestly this is the number one culprit for temper tantrums in my house. When my oldest who is six throws a temper tantrum it is ALWAYS because he is over tired and his body doesn’t know how to manage his emotions— so he gets upset about the craziest things. Making sure your little is getting adequate and restful sleep can help!

2. Hungry Have you ever been hangry??! Because I sure have…and when I am hungry I can be a giant B! Well our littles can be too when they are hungry. Which can be an onset for temper tantrums.

3. Acknowledge When you see your little start to get upset, start the conversation but acknowledging how they are feeling. I say “It looks like you are feeling ___” This simple statement lets your little know you SEE them.

4. Model Model breathing techniques to help them regulate their nervous system. If you don’t do breathing in your house, read my blog post on “30 Second Calm Down Hack”

Ironically or not so ironically, the tips to stop them are also how you can prevent them! When your little is in a temper tantrum they are in their “fight or flight” brain. You talking to them or rationalizing with them is not even registering for them because they are just working to survive the emotional turmoil they feel inside their bodies. When they are in the middle of a temper tantrum the best thing you can do is one of the following (I list them because each of my littles prefers a different way to calm down)

Tips to STOP temper tantrums:

• Offer to sit by them while they calm down

• Offer to hold them while they calm down

• Tell them “I am here for you when you want to talk"

• Offer to rub their back

• Breathe deeply near them (This is great modeling for them)

• Stop talking/rationalizing with them

Once your child has calmed down, then it is time to reconnect. 

Reconnecting with your little is the most important part of all of this. Our littles were communicating a need, felt a lot of rushing emotion, and now it is time for us to show them we are here for them.

For example, my daughter Attley is HIGHLY emotional. She gets upset easily and often. When she is in her tantrum, I tell her “I am here to hold you if you want” and I sit with my arms open. 99% of the time she will run into my arms and I hold her when she cries out her frustration/emotion. When her crying slows, I offer to breathe with her. This is a routine we established early on and has worked wonders for her. A few deep breaths where she “blows my hair” gets her calmed down and able to communicate what upset her and what she needs. 

My 18 month old also will occasionally do breathing when she is at my feet saying “hold you, hold you” her way of saying she wants me to hold her. I can’t always comply with her wants and she can get upset. With lots of modeling, she has picked up the cues of how to breathe when I say “Audynn, take a breath please.” And she does— doesn’t always stop the tantrum from me not holding her (she is a true momma’s girl) but I know this skill will help as she gets older. 

Reconnecting is all about listening to your little and knowing how to talk to them! That is why learning how to talk with your toddler is SO important and why I created Aligned Parents Mini-Course covering this concept and more!

Once I learned how to talk to my littles, temper tantrums were fewer and farther between! We did not have littles so we could deal with their toddler drama all day- even if that is how it feels sometimes! Raising littles should be fun and enjoyable and I want this for you too!

Aligned Parent Mini-Course is an easy and quick way to set yourself up for parenting success and change the way you act and communicate with your littles! For $22 you get six mini-lessons that cover areas in development, parenting styles, discipline, challenging behaviors, temperament, and characteristics of strong families. With included workbooks you will be able to answer questions, take notes, and retain the information provided.

The biggest factor in dealing with temper tantrums is looking at them through the lens of love and support. Asking yourself “What are they trying to communicate” or “What do they need right now” can help you solve the intricate puzzle that can be our toddlers minds!  And if you want to dig deeper into temper tantrums and our reaction to them check out my free video training “Stop Yelling at Your Littles.” It is a new and different approach than your likely used to so get ready to learn something new! 

RELATED POSTS:

30 Second Calm Down Trick

No Tantrum Target Run Hack

The Momma Tribe Retreat

We are a few weeks post retreat and I wanted to share a bit about the weekend and express my sincere gratitude to the women who attended. I also want to recognize and express my gratitude to the businesses that supported this Mom’s retreat. 

As women, we wear many hats and juggle so many things at once that it’s become a societal norm to compare and compete for who is doing/being/accomplishing/juggling the most. I find myself doing this at times because we are so conditioned to boast about how we can manage so much. 

When I had the idea to gather some women together and create a weekend away from the hustle and bustle, I wanted to make it all about them so that they could rejuvenate, relax, and rest from their daily lives. Along with that, I wanted to incorporate my core business beliefs of creating connection, support, and empowerment amongst women because this journey is not meant to be done alone. 

Wow. I was blown away. These women became fast friends, exposing real and raw pieces of themselves during our Friday night activity which was designed to get to know one another on a deeper level. We continued to connect by sharing wisdom, tips, tools, and resources with each other based on our shared experiences. 

This weekend reminded me how important making personal connections with women who have similar daily triumphs and struggles really is. We need to take time out of our regularly scheduled lives to reconnect with ourselves, because by wearing all the hats and juggling all the things we sometimes lose sight of who we are. We can forget what a hot cup of coffee tastes like, or how refreshing it can be to sit outside and flip through magazines, making dreams for ourselves and our family. Connecting with other mommas is also essential for our mental and emotional health. There is something so comforting about knowing that we are not alone. That there is a tribe of women who have walked in our shoes and are open and willing to share their stories to help us manage ours. 

With all that being said, I encourage you to find sometime to connect. Whether it's with yourself, with a friend or even a stranger. We all need to feel connected and supported on this journey. 

Lastly, I want to thank the amazing companies that stepped up and sponsored this retreat. Their generous donations made the weekend the success that it was. These women were able to walk away from the weekend feeling full, pampered, and energized. 

A HUGE thank you to our Sponsors:

BadaBean BadaBoom Snacks

Bizzy Coffee Company

Deane’s Kombucha

Fifi and Kiki’s Bath Co.

Hairless Dog Brewing Company

Intelligent Change

Jordan’s Gems

Kodiak Cakes

My Gym Eden Prairie

Renegade Mama

Restoration Wellbeing

Revel Nail Company

Superior Switchel

Toom Garlic Dips

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